Home Event Planning Wedding How Do You Pick a Wedding Dress?: A Hail Mary

How Do You Pick a Wedding Dress?: A Hail Mary

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After the last blog about wedding dress shopping, I resolved to let the entire wedding dress issue lie because I was obviously in no condition to figure it out at that point. So I waited. And I waited. And then the Coronavirus hit and I was trapped inside with little to do except shop online.

Let’s just say I’ve maintained my VIP status at Torrid this year.

While going through my usual tradition of searching for some new clothes, I started where I always start: the clearance section. Deep in this section, wedding dresses were interspersed with the usual off-season fare. Of course, I had already seen all of these dresses before as I had been stalking the Torrid website for months after they released their Wedding Shoppe collection.

But something happened when I saw a particular dress I had probably glossed over many times before.

One reason why I wanted to get a Torrid wedding dress was because I knew the style was going to be comfortable, breathable, and something I would be able to move around in without feeling restricted. Not only that, but Torrid clothes were well suited to someone my size and shape. I usually don’t online shop for clothes, but I have been doing so at Torrid for years.

Once I got the wedding gown into my cart, I realized that it was a non-return item. So if it didn’t fit or I didn’t like it, I couldn’t get a refund or even an exchange for it. If earning my bachelors in business administration taught me anything, it would that I have an insanely high risk tolerance. I decided to roll the dice.

The dress shipped immediately and arrived the same day as the cowboy boots I ordered from Boot Barn. Which, by the way, are fantastic. For a while, I thought about wearing them with the wedding dress. In the end, I decided not to.

I tried on the dress, got my fiance to zip it with his eyes closed, lest he see me before the wedding day and ruin the surprise. When I got to the mirror in my bedroom, I knew this was my dress. It was light, it was fun, the lace added a delicate touch, and more importantly, I looked like me.

Not someone’s sparkly fairy godmother.

I’m still not sure what the moral of this story is. I’m the first one to recommend branching out and trying new things. But in this case, it seems I just needed some familiar comfort and a more casual dress to feel like I was ready to celebrate.

As much pressure I was putting on myself to find the right dress and have it make me feel a certain way, I think ending up with a dress that makes me feel like me is kind of perfect. After all, my fiance is marrying me, not a fairytale princess or a wedding dress model. I don’t need to force myself into some role I feel I have to fit into in order to be bridal.

More importantly, the fact I was so stressed out by a dress that I had an entire existential crisis over it, just goes to show I had gotten lost in the the myth of Say Yes to the Dress.

When it comes down to it, wedding dresses are just dresses.

They’re big beautiful dresses, but they’re dresses. A dress shouldn’t come with a new identity, or the cost of a mortgage payment, or crippling fear about not stacking up against the legions of brides who have gone before you.

As much as everyone wants to put the fear into you about how special this dress is and how life-altering important this dress is and how the photos from your wedding day will be the most important pictures you ever take, a dress is a dress is a dress is a dress.

Not everyone has the same experiences while dress shopping.

This was mine and it was difficult. But the good news is that I found a dress, it came with a nice garment bag. I got a royal blue ribbon to tie around my waist. There will be many events and happenings on my wedding day, but the most important of them all, will not be my dress.

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